Tag Archives: children

What my daughter taught me about God’s timing, by Sonya Duren

From a note Sonya posted to Facebook today:

Today our oldest daughter, Beth, turns 28. As I was reflecting on how our lives changed so drastically when we went from young, carefree, newly-married couple to “what do we do with this little being who is depending on us to get it right” I couldn’t help but think of a memory that is forever burned in my heart and mind as I sat in an oncologist’s office.

I love this woman.

Marty and I had only been married about three months when we found out I was pregnant. To say we were a little surprised would be an understatement. We certainly wanted children and had already planned our lives out to include several. We really believed God wanted me to quit my job and stay home with them as long as they needed me home. At the time, I had a pretty decent job (for the 1980s) but we certainly weren’t rolling in the dough since both of our salaries were needed to pay our expenses. Our plans were that we would save as much as we could for a couple of years, buy a small house and begin our family. Being pregnant after three months of marriage didn’t go along with “the plan.” Maybe God hadn’t gotten the memo about “the plan.” Nevertheless, we went on to have our beautiful, happy, precious little girl and were thrilled beyond measure. I did quit my job and Marty received a much better job that he began on my last day of work at my job. (Isn’t God funny like that? 🙂 No we didn’t have a lot of money. Yes, we were still in our small apartment. And, we were so happy that God didn’t get the memo about “the plan.”

Fast-forward a little over two years later: After several months of unexplained weight-loss, night sweats, and bone-wearying fatigue, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Disease. For those of you who don’t know, this is a type of cancer that is usually associated with lymphoma. I was diagnosed at stage 2. (Walking through that minefield of emotions of being diagnosed with cancer when you are in your 20’s with a two-year old is another story for another day.)

After some exploratory surgery and having my spleen removed, I was to begin 10 weeks of radiation therapy. Sitting in the doctor’s office that day going over what my life was going to be like for the next few months as I went through radiation and the recovery, my oncologist dropped the “Oh, and by the way, if you get pregnant during this time, we will strongly advise you to have an abortion due to the amount of radiation you will be receiving and the danger of letting your cancer continue if you choose to stop the treatment due to your pregnancy.” I don’t think I heard much else after that statement. My mind kept going back to “the plan.” Our plan of waiting two years. Our plan of having all of our ducks in a row before we ventured forward. Our plan that really didn’t include much faith in a God who has promised to provide for his children.

Sometimes you get a life lesson in a very unusual way that stays with you for the rest of your life. That day I learned something huge about God’s timing. We can’t see what is ahead. We can’t possibly know what is better for our life than God. The blessings He has for us are immense. What may seem poor timing on our part, is perfect when God is behind it. And isn’t it just like God to use a baby to teach us this?

Feel free to share your stories in the comments. Sonya will reading and interacting there today.

Obama surrounds himself with children just like…

A meme circulating heavily this morning has to do with President Obama’s scheduled speech on gun control. According to White House Press Secretary, Jay Carney,

[T]he president will be joined by Vice President Joe Biden as well as children who wrote to the president after the Newtown shootings.
“They will be joined by children around the country expressing their concerns about gun violence and school safety, along with their parents,”

Both passions and accusations have run high since the Newtown, CT massacre as Sandy Hook Elementary School. The image below is one.

I mean, seriously, if Hitler, Mao, and Stalin had their pictures made with children does that not make Obama equal to them?

I drink bottled water. I’m sure every president in recent memory drinks bottled water. That does not mean I am or have been the president. We will forego the old putting pants on one leg at a time saw.

The stupid thing about the meme is, like many of the same genre, there is no context at all. They are simply pictures of a known leader and kids. Except for Stalin. That’s a drawing. He had probably already killed those kids. Or, maybe they were happy to get another potato. [UPDATE: A missionary friend of mine had this to say about the Stalin poster: “What’s ironic is that the Stalin poster is actually a parody. It says, ‘Thank you dear Stalin for shooting our parents.'”]

But, since we are on the subject, here is another well known dictator with a bunch of kids:

And another (in fairness he did not get the chance to be dictator, but would have):

And another:

Please don’t fall for these things. Guilt by association is not the domain of truth seekers. Besides that, easily disproven assertions weakens your argument and your credibility.

Oh, and that thing about Hitler taking away all the guns in Germany before the Holocaust? You might want to check again. It is not true. And here is a solid explanation of the Hitler “For the first time, a civilized nation has full gun registration” quote. Hint: He did not say it.

Barack Obama the accidental pro-life president

If only our president was moved to compassion over the plight of unborn children as he was after the tragedy at Sandy Hook. He has never been more eloquent. If only…

But when it comes to the most defenseless of all, our president is double-minded at best. Which is more defenseless, a six year old in a classroom facing a gunman or a child still attached to the mother confined by the walls of the womb facing a medical technician with dismemberment in mind? If a child in a classroom is defenseless against a madman, how much more so a unborn child against calm, methodical, professional annihilation?

Mr. President, get your thinking in order. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways (James 1:8).

(HT: Justin Taylor)

Until the Prince of Peace shall come

War must be, while we defend our lives against a destroyer who would devour all; but I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.

J.R.R. Tolkien, The Two Towers

Of all the promises of Christmas one seemingly stirs our hearts above all others: that the Prince of Peace has come. The Old Testament prophet Isaiah, in one of the earliest writings about the Advent of the Messiah, indicated He would be “named Wonderful Counselor, Eternal Father, Mighty God, Prince of Peace” (9:6).

Most people would readily acknowledge such a hope has yet to be realized.

Iraqi soldiers exiting Iraqi air force helicopter [Image credit]

Following the mass murder in Newtown, Connecticut last week our thoughts again turned to violence. Twenty children killed before they could even reach the prime of life, whatever that is. Correlations were made to abortion, and, in the view of this writer, rightfully so.

By no measure of divine justice will violence outside the womb outweigh violence inside it.

Childhelp.org reports five U.S. children die each day as a direct result of abuse while 6 million are abused and/or neglected annually. That equates to another Sandy Hook every four days.

According to the International Center for Assault Prevention more than “40 million children below the age of 15 are subjected to child abuse each year” (2001). In addition the World Health Organization estimates that 150 million girls and 73 million boys under 18 experienced forced sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual violence during 2002.

What about war? Statistics on war deaths are varied and cover different periods of time, but this site lists conflicts since the American Civil War:

1860-65: USA civil war (628,000)
1886-1908: Belgium-Congo Free State (8 million)
1898: USA-Spain & Philippines (220,000)
1899-02: British-Boer war (100,000)
1899-03: Colombian civil war (120,000)
1899-02: Philippines vs USA (20,000)
1900-01: Boxer rebels against Russia, Britain, France, Japan, USA against rebels (35,000)
1903: Ottomans vs Macedonian rebels (20,000)
1904: Germany vs Namibia (65,000)
1904-05: Japan vs Russia (150,000)
1910-20: Mexican revolution (250,000)
1911: Chinese Revolution (2.4 million)
1911-12: Italian-Ottoman war (20,000)
1912-13: Balkan wars (150,000)
1915: the Ottoman empire slaughters Armenians (1.2 million)
1915-20: the Ottoman empire slaughters 500,000 Assyrians
1916-23: the Ottoman empire slaughters 350,000 Greek Pontians and 480,000 Anatolian Greeks
1914-18: World War I (20 million)
1916: Kyrgyz revolt against Russia (120,000)
1917-21: Soviet revolution (5 million)
1917-19: Greece vs Turkey (45,000)
1919-21: Poland vs Soviet Union (27,000)
1928-37: Chinese civil war (2 million)
1931: Japanese Manchurian War (1.1 million)
1932-33: Soviet Union vs Ukraine (10 million)
1932: “La Matanza” in El Salvador (30,000)
1932-35: “Guerra del Chaco” between Bolivia and Paraguay (117.500)
1934: Mao’s Long March (170,000)
1936: Italy’s invasion of Ethiopia (200,000)
1936-37: Stalin’s purges (13 million)
1936-39: Spanish civil war (600,000)
1937-45: Japanese invasion of China (500,000)
1939-45: World War II (55 million) including holocaust and Chinese revolution
1946-49: Chinese civil war (1.2 million)
1946-49: Greek civil war (50,000)
1946-54: France-Vietnam war (600,000)
1947: Partition of India and Pakistan (1 million)
1947: Taiwan’s uprising against the Kuomintang (30,000)
1948-1958: Colombian civil war (250,000)
1948-1973: Arab-Israeli wars (70,000)
1949-: Indian Muslims vs Hindus (20,000)
1949-50: Mainland China vs Tibet (1,200,000)
1950-53: Korean war (3 million)
1952-59: Kenya’s Mau Mau insurrection (20,000)
1954-62: French-Algerian war (368,000)
1958-61: Mao’s “Great Leap Forward” (38 million)
1960-96: Guatemala’s civil war (200,000)
1961-98: Indonesia vs West Papua/Irian (100,000)
1961-2003: Kurds vs Iraq (180,000)
1962-75: Mozambique Frelimo vs Portugal (10,000)
1962-75: Angolan FNLA & MPLA vs Portugal (50,000)
1964-73: USA-Vietnam war (3 million)
1965: second India-Pakistan war over Kashmir
1965-66: Indonesian civil war (250,000)
1966-69: Mao’s “Cultural Revolution” (11 million)
1966-: Colombia’s civil war (31,000)
1967-70: Nigeria-Biafra civil war (800,000)
1968-80: Rhodesia’s civil war (?)
1969-: Philippines vs the communist Bagong Hukbong Bayan/ New People’s Army (40,000)
1969-79: Idi Amin, Uganda (300,000)
1969-02: IRA – Norther Ireland’s civil war (2,000)
1969-79: Francisco Macias Nguema, Equatorial Guinea (50,000)
1971: Pakistan-Bangladesh civil war (500,000)
1972-: Philippines vs Muslim separatists (Moro Islamic Liberation Front, etc) (150,000)
1972: Burundi’s civil war (300,000)
1972-79: Rhodesia/Zimbabwe’s civil war (30,000)
1974-91: Ethiopian civil war (1,000,000)
1975-78: Menghitsu, Ethiopia (1.5 million)
1975-79: Khmer Rouge, Cambodia (1.7 million)
1975-89: Boat people, Vietnam (250,000)
1975-87: civil war in Lebanon (130,000)
1975-87: Laos’ civil war (184,000)
1975-2002: Angolan civil war (500,000)
1976-83: Argentina’s military regime (20,000)
1976-93: Mozambique’s civil war (900,000)
1976-98: Indonesia-East Timor civil war (600,000)
1976-2005: Indonesia-Aceh (GAM) civil war (12,000)
1977-92: El Salvador’s civil war (75,000)
1979: Vietnam-China war (30,000)
1979-88: the Soviet Union invades Afghanistan (1.3 million)
1980-88: Iraq-Iran war (435,000)
1980-92: Sendero Luminoso – Peru’s civil war (69,000)
1984-: Kurds vs Turkey (35,000)
1981-90: Nicaragua vs Contras (60,000)
1982-90: Hissene Habre, Chad (40,000)
1983-: Sri Lanka’s civil war (70,000)
1983-2002: Sudanese civil war (2 million)
1986-: Indian Kashmir’s civil war (60,000)
1987-: Palestinian Intifada (4,500)
1988-2001: Afghanistan civil war (400,000)
1988-2004: Somalia’s civil war (550,000)
1989-: Liberian civil war (220,000)
1989-: Uganda vs Lord’s Resistance Army (30,000)
1991: Gulf War – large coalition against Iraq to liberate Kuwait (85,000)
1991-97: Congo’s civil war (800,000)
1991-2000: Sierra Leone’s civil war (200,000)
1991-2009: Russia-Chechnya civil war (200,000)
1991-94: Armenia-Azerbaijan war (35,000)
1992-96: Tajikstan’s civil war war (50,000)
1992-96: Yugoslavian wars (260,000)
1992-99: Algerian civil war (150,000)
1993-97: Congo Brazzaville’s civil war (100,000)
1993-2005: Burundi’s civil war (200,000)
1994: Rwanda’s civil war (900,000)
1995-: Pakistani Sunnis vs Shiites (1,300)
1995-: Maoist rebellion in Nepal (12,000)
1998-: Congo/Zaire’s war – Rwanda and Uganda vs Zimbabwe, Angola and Namibia (3.8 million)
1998-2000: Ethiopia-Eritrea war (75,000)
1999: Kosovo’s liberation war – NATO vs Serbia (2,000)
2001-: Afghanistan’s liberation war – USA & UK vs Taliban (40,000)
2002-: Cote d’Ivoire’s civil war (1,000)
2003-11: Second Iraq-USA war – USA, UK and Australia vs Saddam Hussein and subsequent civil war (160,000)
2003-09: Sudan vs JEM/Darfur (300,000)
2004-: Thailand vs Muslim separatists (3,700)
2007-: Pakistan vs PAkistani Taliban (38,000)
2012-: Syria’s civil war (14,000)

(Estimates are near 100,000,000 direct war deaths, government sponsored deaths and civilian casualties in the 20th century.)

Malcolm X is quoted saying, “Sometimes you have to pick the gun up to put the Gun down.” He might, on occasion, be sadly accurate. The Bible does say to live peacefully with everyone as much as it depends on us. That is to say Christ’s followers should view the sword as the very last resort.

God’s people, who are encouraged to be “peace makers,” should, more than most, long for the re-appearing of the Prince of Peace. We should be wary of those who would rush to war, the first to weary of war itself, and aware of the toll violence–in all its forms–takes on men, women, boys and girls the world over in every generation. Even when war is absolutely necessary we should be the first to critique its excesses and encourage its end. Until the Prince of Peace shall come.

Eight sure ways to keep your kids from serving God

Years ago I heard a preacher say this:

When I was a young pastor–before I was married with children–I used to preach a series called, “Ten Sure Fire Ways to Get Your Kids to Live for God.” Now that I’m older and have kids of my own I changed it to, “Here’s a Few Things You Might Want to Try When Raising Your Kids. They Might Work and They Might Not.”

I can appreciate the sentiment.

After quite a number of years pastoring a few different churches I think that approach, though humorous, sees the issue from the wrong direction. Perhaps a question we could ask is, “What can I do to ensure my kids will have little interest in following God?” Though the question sounds backwards and unproductive, it will lead us to a number of truths.

If you want to make sure your kids do not follow Christ, I recommend the following:

[Image credit]

1. Never even attempt to apply what the pastor teaches week after week. Your kids will readily pick up that it is not that important. They will eventually wonder why you bother to go, and, when old enough, will not go themselves.

2. Pick apart the pastor’s sermon every week. Your kids will soon figure out that you are not expecting God to speak to you. They’ll soon conclude that the message probably does not apply to them either.

3. Fight and argue all morning, and in the vehicle all the way to the service. But, when you get to the service be all smiles and laughter. Act as if the morning fighting never happened. Repeat this ritual every week.

4. Pay more attention to what people in attendance are wearing, how they look, how they smell, etc, than to the message, music and mission. Doing this will train your kids to be distracted from God’s activity by focusing on trivial matters.

5. Be more concerned with making good citizens of your kids, but not so much with making disciples of them. Teach them to be good, to mind their manners, make good grades, etc, but never about walking with God.

6. Make Sunday is the only important day in the religious ritual. Never pray before meals, never pray together as a family, never pray with your kids about issues they face: tests, romances, jobs, life decisions. Let them learn to handle things just like their unbelieving friends.

7. Talk about God’s power, but worry about everything as if He has none. Make sure to express uncertainty about the future as if God has turned His back on you.

8. Never participate in the mission of God apart from church attendance, and hinder your kids from the same. Complain about the cost of mission trips, ministry events, or the difficulty of getting them to service opportunities.

If you do these things you will doing more than enough to assist the evil one in his efforts to destroy the spiritual lives of your children and keep them from serving God.

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